Wufei and the no good very bad horrible day.
by wufei hater
Summary: My friend was having a bad day, so i wrote this fic for her. Hope you feel better vampyric peep queen


This story is dedicated to all the hard working Onna's who had to walk into things so I could get the idea for this. Our hearts go out to you.  
  
Wufei and the terrible no good very bad day  
  
  
  
Wufei was walking along an old path in a Chinese village. The air was nice, after the rain everything had water on it. Little beads feel off leaves in the trees. There were puddles everywhere.  
  
"Finally a day with no crazy onna's, no exploding colonies, no fights for justice that are really getting old, just peace and quiet." Wufei closed his eyes and kept walking along a path. Staring up at the sky periodically. He put his hands behind his head and stared at a bird.  
  
"Such a-umph" Wufei walked into a tree branch. "Baka! He yelled at the top of his lungs. A passing bird looked down, took a crap on Wufei, and flew away.  
  
His shouts attracted the attention of several passing older women and they just looked at him and looked down nodding their heads in disapproval. "Children these days…" One of the women said to the others.  
  
"I am not a child! I fight for justice! And Nataku! And I am not a little Baka! You old hags!" he yelled at the old lady.  
  
The old ladies all turned on Wufei and withdrew Katanas. "We are not weak old Onna's!" they all got in there old lady carts and started chasing Wufei.  
  
"Oh shit." Wufei turned and started to run away from the three little old ladies but they were much faster than he was. He turned a quick corner and when the old ladies tried to turn just as quick, they toppled their carts and lay there swearing at Wufei.  
  
"This is turning out to be a no good very bad horrible day, maybe I'll move to America." Wufei said.  
  
* * *  
  
Wufei then went off to the baker's in town. As Wufei approached the center of the town and followed the warm smell of the bakery, he could see the small corner bakery.  
  
"Mmmmm." Wufei said and went in. "Hi Phil, how're you?" Wufei said to the baker behind the counter.  
  
"Hi Wufei!" the baker said to Wufei.  
  
"I'll have my usual." Wufei said to the baker and went to get his favorite drink out of the cooler.  
  
"Sorry Wufei. There's no more scones today, a group of sweet old ladies came in earlier and ate them all. They took your drinks too." The Baker said and asked Wufei if he could get him anything else.  
  
"No that's ok," said and Wufei and dragged himself out of the store and onto the street. He looked around and a car whooshed by him. It splashed a fresh mud puddle onto Wufei's nice clean new white clothes.  
  
"This is turning into a no good very bad, horrible day. Maybe I'll move to America." Wufei said and started wandering up the street to find a clothing store.  
  
* * *  
  
Wufei eventually came upon a small store that sold ancient style Chinese clothing that Wufei wore. He went in and started looking around  
  
"Can I help you?" A sweet female voice said from behind him. He twirled around and looked at the woman.  
  
"Kisama! Go make me new clothes right now! They must be white because I fight for justice and Nataku! And you are just a weak onna! He yelled at the poor attendant.  
  
"Sir if I weren't a killer robot the came from the future to gather information and stop an alien invasion I'd be offended." She smiled pleasantly at him and leaned her head slightly to one side. Wufei continued to glare at her and she pleasantly smiled and looked back  
  
"Well onna does that mean your going to make my new clothes or what?!" Wufei yelled again, not really listening by this stupid onna's life story.  
  
"I'm sorry sir but we don't make the garments here, but you can buy some at discount on that rack." She smiled pleasantly still and quickly leaned her head to her other shoulder.  
  
Wufei glared at this attendant. "You remind me of a very stupid onna that's wants to be killed by my co-worker, Relena." Wufei finally said.  
  
"Oh you must mean the all perfect one. Yes we know her well, in AC 4,000,000 it was deemed that she was the perfect being so now our entire population is clones of her. Sir…?" The attendant was saying but Wufei was already walking away not even listening to her last part. Just then a giant alien walked by outside and the attendant turned into a human sized Heavyarms custom, aside from the head. Which still looked distinctly Relena-esque. She went out to do battle with the alien and lead it out of town, so that it could no longer be seen through the store fronts window, but no one cared enough to look anyway.  
  
Wufei went through the rack of clothes and found one set of clothes that matched his own. But the color was off. "This is an injustice," he went into the back to change, then went back to the front to pay for his new clothes. The cashier just snickered lightly and gave Wufei his receipt.  
  
"Baka, it's the only set of clothes that looked like my other one's!" Wufei yelled at the poor cashier. The cashier just burst out laughing and collapsed on the floor. Wufei just went outside. "This is turning into a no good very bad horrible day. Maybe I'll move to America." Wufei said and walked down the street in his new pink jumpsuit.  
  
  
  
Ok that's gonna be it for now. Comments or concerns please send them to me. I really love flames so if you wanna go ahead, I always get a kick outta reading them. (Most of the time they're true to, no mane's will be mentioned; SEAN CONNEL! For those who just like to insult my name)  
  
Wufei: But you name is an Injustice for me I demand you change it!  
  
Authour: But I like it and I am God so I win. Hahaha And its not like I have anything against you I just know someone obsessed with you that's all.  
  
Wufei: Probably a weak onna.  
  
Author: Yeah buddy! ::they high five and do a stupid dance::  
  
-_-;;  
  
**As always the author owns nothing please don't sue him, he sux anyway** 


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